| | However, while extremely violent, these subatomic explosions are almost impossible to detect. Hence, they have been destroying our world, unknown to us, since the first deadly cake was served. Petrov and Vasiliev concluded that Ununennium is a by-product of a complex chain of chemical reactions that only occur when chopped nuts and dried fruit are combined with alcohol.
Since its recent discovery, Ununennium has been linked with thousands of deathly ailments. Ununennium also prevents fruitcake from undergoing the natural process of decomposition because the subatomic explosions kill all forms of life – including the helpful bacteria that digest organic matter.
Ununennium cannot be destroyed by earthly means, so an international crack team of scientists is currently designing rockets to carry fruitcake into the sun, where it will be safely incinerated. | |
